So I got a request for a pic. I will have to get approval from Jerry - but that would be hysterical.
Jerry and I are currently getting the silent treatment from Jackie. Ever since we got back from DC Sunday night, she has gone quiet. Its been AWESOME. Here is what provoked what has been the greatest three days of my life.
Last week on Wednesday I came home from a the midweek workout with Team in Training. If you all remember, it was 147 degrees in the shade last week. Plus we were doing hills and speedwork, and I don't think the path was ready for this jelly cuz I am way too bootylicious for some of these workouts... Anyway, I came home around 8pm all tired and hot and crabby and went across the street to pick up the dog, who was staying with the MIL because i was coming home late and Jerry was out with the guys. I thanked her, went home, and took the best shower ever. Because no one was home, i had the bathroom doors open (i have a brady bunch bathroom that is in between my bedroom and the guest bedroom). *AS SOON* as i turn off the water I hear it - the screech heard round the world - "MUHLEEEESUH!". I scrambled for a towel and started anxiously saying that I wasn't dressed (you know, because I am one of those people who takes showers without clothes on). Sometime while I was in the shower Jackie came over, let herself in and was sitting on my bed waiting for me to finish. "Where is my son?" I said I didnt know hoping that she would go away. "He told me he is going to the Naperville and buying fireworks." I said, no no, he is at Montrose harbor, at the boat with his friends having a boys night. "How you know? He said Naperville. Is he drinking? I think he is drinking." I said that is where I ran tonight, I saw him there, he is fine. She then proceeded to lecture me on not forgetting to leave the spare keys in the garage. She said she tried to get in the house today but couldnt find the keys. I love that I got in trouble for not making my house accessible when I am not there to PEOPLE THAT DONT LIVE THERE.
About an hour later me and Skipper are sprawled out on the bed, falling asleep to Law & Order when the doorbell starts ringing like crazy. There is Jackie, at level 100 freak out, saying that she cant get a hold of Jerry, where is he, he's drinking, she is scared, bla bla bla. I mean, you would have thought this was an actual child that went missing (well I guess in her mind it was). I said relax, he's fine, he is with his friends, they are on the boat having some guy time doing the same shit they do every time they are together. Then she started railing about them drinking, and they are drinking too much, and Jerry is going to get a DUI and then she started (fake) crying. I knew he was fine, but for some reason she was totally convinced he was in imminent danger. She said everyone freaks out when Derrick [Jerry's cousin] drinks too much, and no one cares about her son (neither of which are true, they are both very responsible when they drink). I said, "what do you want me to do, he is a grown man." she said to call him and make him come home! And how would I do that?? "Hi Jerry, you need to come home right now. Why? Because your mom said so. Why did she say so? Oh, because you are drinking." Seriously!!! I told her dont worry! He is fine, he is responsible. Then she switched tactics trying to convince me that he wasnt really at the harbor, he was going to Naperville with fireworks (it turned out that he went to Navy Pier to see the firework show). But truly, if he went to Indiana I didnt care, it was now after 9 and dangerously past my bedtime. After some more (fake) crying on her part and threats to move back to Poland if he wasnt going to listen to her, she left.
What I didnt know what that she had been calling him literally every 5 minutes yelling at him and telling him to come home because he was drinking and there were too many people with him. Then she called her sister Helen (jerry was with his cousin Derrick, who is her Helen's son) and got her all riled up. What would Helen do? And why the eff did Jackie call her? Seriously all of this stuff is a giant laugh except that - that was just mean. So Helen calls Derrick's wife, and asks her to go to the harbor and pick the boys up and bring them home so they will be safe. Derrick's wife knows better than to fall for Jackie's antics, and assuages Helen's fears (I hope). So Derrick's wife calls him and tells him all about the fiasco and it ends up being a total buzzkill for the night. Honestly, if Jerry wasnt drinking, that would have been a good time to start.
Keep in mind ALL of this is because Jerry, age 34, wouldn't come home when his mother demanded. The "drinking" is a smokescreen - she was having a full on panic attack about her baby boy and was using all the cards she had. Drinking fears, (fake) crying, telling me I dont understand, threatening to move back to Poland (oh please God, OH PLEASE!).
Yes, it is exactly as ridiculous as you think it is.
There has been some more messages - she came over the next day and screamed at him in person too. and we got in trouble again for not leaving the keys for her when we went to DC. and so she isnt speaking to us. But we totally showed her - we took away her Skipper visitation and instead dropped him off with my parents while we were gone.
TAKE THAT!
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