Inaugural Post

I have a new concept. Shit my mother-in-law does. I am not trying to make fun of her or embarrass her, just like the guy with the twitter account. It's just that some things deserve to be shared.

My husband (Jerry) came to the US from Poland with his mom when he was 10. Jerry's mom (Jadwiga, or Jackie in English) came here with nothing, really, and has done more in 25 years than natives have done with their entire lives. Its actually really impressive how hard she works. And one could understand coming from that how she would be super overprotective with her only son. He is 34, but depending on her mood, the time of day, the shade of red her hair is, he is still only anywhere from 4 months old to 12 years. Which is what makes it *so* fun being her daughter-in-law. Also, we live across the street from her - I met Jerry 4 months after he closed on his house. He said he bought it because it was a good deal and a nice house in a nice neighborhood. He had a condo in Vernon Hills with his ex, which he sold when they broke up and moved back with his mom. Considering Jackie says his ex "took her son away from her" by moving to Vernon Hills, I'm not so sure the decision to purchase the house ACROSS the street was really just based on economic or investment considerations. She was probably playing tapes while his slept to get it into his subconscious.

All of this has made for some really funny stories. People feel bad or offended for me but I know deep down Jackie loves me and thinks I am good enough for her baby boy (well, I hope). So, I just try and see the humor in it...

So for the inaugural post, I will tell an oldie but goodie.

Last spring I joined a group called "Learn to Run" out of Fleet Feet Sports in Pipers Alley. It was to get you ready for the Komen 10k in July, which I then wanted to build on to do my first half marathon in November. I was never a runner, but had started a routine that helped me lose weight for my wedding, and I needed a new challenge to keep that weight off. To say Jackie is obsessed with weight would be the understatement of the millenium. The woman has a sixth sense for these things, and does not hesitate to tell you even if you are in front of a 100 people. She even comments on my siblings and wants to know the status of their weight (sorry guys). Its not just that she has to say what she says, but then she follows it up with her advice on how to be slim. The woman needs to lost a good 50lbs herself - so I guess its a matter of those who can't, teach. Anyway, she was very pleased with my running efforts and it really kept her off my back for a while. I am not thin, but after years of trying I feel like I'm in a good place.

So it was some time after the Komen 10k (which is about 6.2 miles) that I did my first long run of 8 miles. I was so proud of myself. Not only had I conquered a new distance, but I actually felt good about how I ran it - which is just as important. It was a Saturday morning - the long runs are always on Saturday mornings - and I went straight to tell Jerry how happy I was. He was in his mom's garage (where he is every Saturday morning) working on cars. As I walked up the driveway, beaming with pride and riding the runner's high, Jackie came out of the house. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Muhleeesah, I think you gain it the weight." I'm not sure if the thick Polish accent makes it worse, or the fact she refuses to call me Missy, but in my head I can still hear it. I said, "guess what I just did 8 miles!" And she said, "oh, oh, well I think you got it some more weight." She grabbed my love handles, on each side, with her fingers and said, "rrrrrrright here, right here Muhleeesah." I sheepishly responded that maybe my weight redistributed itself, you know, because I was upping my weekly mileage. And its not like running clothes really do you any favors. But she was unimpressed.

This story, my friends, is what will become known as "Classic Jackie." Enjoy.